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Why I Serve by Leading I Am Done

Thought I had the fullness,
but something was missing.

My faith was strong. It carried me through struggles, failures, joys, births, growth, cancer, death, and becoming a widower. Even so . . .

  • Although I was told God no longer spoke, He’d talk to me.
  • Although I knew about the fruits of the spirit, it was a struggle to live them.
  • Although I knew the admonitions to be a good man, I frequently fell short.
  • Although I felt evil, I was taught not to worry.
  • Although I wanted to be a courageous for those I loved, at times I couldn’t.

This all pissed me off. Oh yes, I also had an anger issue.

God was everything to me: I loved His word, and I loved Him. But I still thought myself a failure, less than. To make matters worse, Jeremiah 17:9 was pounded into my head and heart, even as I was told to be good and moral and nice. Ugh, that dreaded word nice. How many valiant, honorable warriors are “nice?” How many women want complacent, passive, “nice” men?

Squirrel! . . . Sorry.

Then freedom dropped itself off at my door, changing all of that, and ridiculously more.

  • I hear from God, intimately, profoundly and sometimes often
  • By grace, I walk evermore into the fruits of the Spirit
  • God has made me and is evermore making me into a better man
  • I understand and successfully engage in warfare
  • My wife says I am not only more confident, but more courageous – oorah
  • I hear that someone turned my heart of stone into a heart of flesh, and He buried my old me on that old rugged cross
  • And that anger thing has dramatically lessoned, at least the unrighteous kind

How? Through freedom in and by Christ.

Even better, this message has changed these things and much more for many men, women and teens. Ultimately, in doing this, we’ve made a sizable dent in the gates of hell, and we’ve taken back ground the evil thing once considered its own.

Let’s go out and bring freedom to at least a couple million more. Why not? If He stands with us, who can stand against us?

Oh, and that missing thing? It’s been found.

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Is There a Mother of All Questions?

In my previous post, I shared Andy Stanley’s view that the questions we ask reveal our real priorities, and that mastering them can create the focus and emphasis we want. But he then suggested that there is a question that trumps other questions; it is much more revealing. Its benefits?

  • It provides instant clarity, lifting one above his or her emotional fog.
  • It motivates one to ask, “How would I feel on the other side of my making a decision if I followed the guidance of this question?”
  • It exposes or unmasks motives, especially when it makes it is clear I am placing my motives above the larger mission.
  • It unmasks me, exposing who I am in this for.

So, what is this magical question?

What would a great leader do?

[Pause, think of a decision you have to make, ask yourself that question, and discern what difference it makes.]

It is not a leader’s job to make great decisions but rather to ensure that great decisions are made. How do you think your decisions would be impacted by asking yourself this? Think it would make a difference?

But, you say you are not in a leadership position – this question has nothing to do with me. Maybe? Let’s tweak it a little and give it a go:

  • What would a great mom do?
  • What would a great student do?
  • What would a great husband do?
  • What would a great employee do?

Let us know your thoughts, or even better, share a story of how this caused you to make a better decision, whatever its application.

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My Questions Reveal My Priorities?

Can questions make you a better leader, parent, spouse, or person?  Andy Stanley thinks so.

He states that the questions you ask reveal your real priorities.  Ask yourself what the recipient of these questions really hears.

  • You say you value your child’s heart but only ask about her grades.
  • You say you value employee engagement but only ask about sales results.
  • You say you value restored lives but only ask about giving.
  • You say you value your wife’s peace but only ask if she’s gotten everything done.

What do your questions really reveal? Pause for a second, and come up with questions for each scenario above that would align with each stated value. We’ll pause as you develop your own.

[elevator music playing for 60 seconds]

Andy starts every staff meeting with this question, “What happened on Sunday.” His team knows it is an invitation to share stories of how people were impacted. This question places laser focus on Andy’s top priority.

What questions should you ask your spouse, your child, your friends, or your team to reveal what is important to you, and hence to them? Yes, step one is to identify your foundational priorities in each of these relationships before you can create your questions and develop your questioning skills.

NOTE: when crafting questions, consider their weight and wisdom. For example, if someone is living in a season of perpetual struggle, asking how they are doing could force them to remember how troubling things are.

Submit below questions you intend to ask and the reason you are asking them. You can also submit a question you could ask the person currently living in a season of struggle.