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What Percent of My DNA is Shared with Other “Races?”

Diversity training make you nervous? Will the trainer be angry, have a hidden agenda, desire to make you feel guilty, or despise your type, whatever that is? What about recent conversation about differences? Have they gone well, or did they result in name calling, blaming or even resentment? Were you genuinely changed, or did you leave more entrenched?

I Am Done is committed to working across cultures (and to connecting people to other ministries and churches that are better suited to meet their respective needs). As such, we will learn how to work courageously but also wisely and humbly in this space. Within this spirit, God ordained a day with a wise soul, Dr. Adrianne Fletcher, to facilitate our growth. Joining us were allies, friends, and local leaders.

What does it mean to work across cultures? Think of any group that does not adhere to the general principles and “ways” that your “culture” assumes to be normal. Most of you may be thinking this is a color-thing — consider the following examples.

  • Millennials and Generation Z-ers
  • Baby-boomer evangelical men and emerging church skinny jean men
  • Liberal blacks and conservative blacks
  • Catholics and protestants
  • Dark skinned blacks and lighter skinned blacks
  • Women and men
  • People of color and those with less melanin
  • College educated white collar and blue collar
  • Are there more “cultures” than you initially thought?

Think of anyone you pre-judged when you initially met? Sadly, some of these pre-judgements are grounded in valid experiences, but should that apply to the person you are just meeting?

How would you feel if you were never pre-judged again?

Back to our starting question: What percent of my DNA is shared with other “races?”

99.2%

The other 0.8% is due primarily to geography. For example, if you originated from a hot, sunny climate, you are more likely to have darker skin. Are most native Scandinavians dark-skinned ? What does this mean?

Biologically, race does not exist. Let’s say that again. Biologically, race is not a thing. Race is a sociological construct.

We learned we share 99.2% or so of our DNA with any and every human on this planet, male or female. The parts I do not share are based primarily on the geography of my descendants.

We will add discussions on what we are learning about working cross-culturally, and if you want my cliff notes . . .

Set myself aside

This does not mean that I give up my values nor myself, but am I willing to patiently listen and sit with others? For example, will I visit their home, eat their food, and listen to their stories? Will I pause and learn, or must I overwhelm them with my values, opinions, and platforms?

Love

The simplest yet maybe the most complicated of words. Will I love them, especially if they are NOT just like me, from one of my sociologically crafted “cultures?”

What would happen if we started doing even these two things?

We will be conducting more training with Dr. Fletcher, pictured above with Jordan, one of our leaders. If invited, we hope you would consider attending.

By the way, why Dr. Fletcher? Imagine intense kindness, genuine gentleness, deep wisdom, and intentional patience as the source of your facilitation. Her motives were beautiful, her methods were engaging, and her skill and experience were evident. If you want to engage with her directly, contact us and we will forward your information to her.

Lord, help me to love others, especially those I don’t easily understand.

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be you?

Is telling someone to “be you” godly or wise?

It is now common to advocate that others “be you,” thought to reflect the ultimate in inclusiveness. Let’s see if it is actually wise or even tolerant.

I am proposing that you are to be the “God-intended” you. How is this different from telling someone to simply “be you?”

Think of the toddler-play-pit at the fast food restaurant filled with hand sized plastic balls — too many to count. Imagine each ball represents an identity you can believe about yourself, and each comes with a set of desires you might choose. In today’s world, some of these balls are our sexual identification, our character, our purpose, our place, or our very value.

Examples of identity could be: I am a boy today, I am more valuable than my parents, I am abandoned and lost, I am angry, I am worthless, I am unlovely, I am a puppy (yes, this is a thing).

From these, examples of desire could be:  I want to have sex with another girl. I want to disrespect and hurt my parents. I want to isolate and tell the world to f-off. I want to rage against others with my words, fists, abuse or bullets. I want to kill myself. I want to offer myself in a way where I get hurt because I deserve it. I want to leave a gift on your carpet.

Go Be You!

If you truly advocate this, how can you get upset when they live out what you just encouraged them to be and do?

I am proposing that amidst those many plastic balls is the one (or ones) that will bless and protect you.

Scripture says that God will give you the desires of your heart, but not all of them. He will give you the ones that are the fruit of your delighting in Him (Ps. 37:4). Then, as the ultimate good father that He is, He’ll give you the identity, or name, He always intended for you. This is the one that is good, holy, and uniquely yours — your way to offer your God-given gifting and glory to the world on and for His behalf.

Examples of His identity for someone could be: You are Israel, not Jacob. You are Paul, not Saul. You are the Sons of Thunder. You are my Perfect Beloved. You are Cornerstone. You are Messenger. You are my Beloved Daughter. You are Arthur.

Then, related desires could be: [Israel] I am one who strives with God, no longer a supplanter. [Paul] I am called as an apostle, one set apart for the gospel of God, no longer an accuser of the brethren. [Sons of Thunder] We are men of power for the kingdom. [Perfect Beloved] I am perfect in His eyes, no longer a disappointment in my own. [Cornerstone] I have strength to protect and love my family, no longer a 16-year-old living in a 40-year-old man’s body. [Messenger] I am gifted to bring the message of the gospel to others, no longer a player who can talk myself out of any accountability. [Beloved Daughter] I am a daughter of a king, no longer an abandoned child whose childhood was stolen. [Arthur] I am a king, able to lead and serve others well, no longer needing to hide.

Imagine if each of you found the specific balls that include your God-ordained identity. How would this change your understanding of who you are and what you desire to offer the world?

Let’s go back to our current: “Be you.”

Encouraging someone to grab any ball without holding to a criteria, or foundational truth, eliminates your ability to judge them if they do something harmful — you did tell them to “Be You.” Could you even be complicit in the evil they cause by not having had the courage to stand for truth? Might this be foolish?

And, many people who say “Be You” are advocating for freedoms never intended in scripture (yes, you can identity as a puppy) — the freedom to sin as one chooses. At the same time, some of these ‘be you-ers” label those who follow biblical truths as haters and evil. Is this tolerant, or intolerant?

Should this be a surprise? It says in Romans 1:35 that “although they know the ordinance of God, that those who practice such things are worthy of death, they not only do the same, but also give hearty approval to those who practice them.”

I Am Done exists to help you find and live out of your God-intended identity, or name, and desires. We help you find your plastic ball that has your God-intended name. 

Saying “be you” can be good and wise if it means to be the “you” God always intended.

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Five Simple Steps to a Completely Healed Heart(*)?

(*) If only this were possible

The “me” you meet, whether I know it or not, is revealed through:

  • The impacts and influences of my family of origin, or lack thereof.
  • The vows and agreements from and through which I live.
  • The gender-, socioeconomic-, cultural-, generational-, or political-lenses through which I see and judge the world.
  • The trauma I’ve experienced, whether I can remember it or not.
  • My understanding of and engagement with sex, healthy or otherwise.
  • The lies I believe about myself, and about others.
  • My style of relating.
  • Years of motive-laden self-talk, all too often negative, destructive or angry.
  • My understanding, or lack-thereof, of theology and philosophy.
  • Healthy and unhealthy relationships, including many levels of betrayal.
  • My sin and my old man/woman.
  • And more.

Every person we meet has a story. Heck, you have a story. It is almost shocking that we still survive in spite of them.

So how can we pursue healing and integration, or wholeness? There are many approaches, and our contribution is to allow God to expose the lies that have corrupted your understanding of your true identity and value.

THINK IT TRUE THAT OUR IDENTITIES AND VALUES HAVE BEEN CORRUPTED? As one of many possible tests: How do you react to a compliment? Must you drink-it-in as all too important to define your worth? Do you deflect it because it is impossible that you are “beautiful” or “courageous?” Or, can you genuinely thank them for it, understanding your gifting simply is true?

We invite you onto a journey (each story is unique so your journey will be your own) that allows God to replace the shame inducing lies and accusations with His glorious truths about you. This won’t solve all of your problems, but it can transform your very foundation upon which a new you, the one God intended before you were even born, can emerge.

Want to learn more? You can read the works of John and Stasi Edredge, Dan Allender, or Isaiah 6:1-3 as a start. You can also join us at one of our events where people have used words such as “freedom” and “healing” to summarize what happened there.

The negativity and darkness you have tragically come to believe about yourself, intentionally or otherwise, can be replaced. We’ve seen it in hundreds ourselves, and we’ve seen others awaken it in thousands across the globe.

We welcome your thoughts or reactions below. We also look forward to meeting you at one of our upcoming events.