Is telling someone to “be you” godly or wise?
It is now common to advocate that others “be you,” thought to reflect the ultimate in inclusiveness. Let’s see if it is actually wise or even tolerant.
I am proposing that you are to be the “God-intended” you. How is this different from telling someone to simply “be you?”
Think of the toddler-play-pit at the fast food restaurant filled with hand sized plastic balls — too many to count. Imagine each ball represents an identity you can believe about yourself, and each comes with a set of desires you might choose. In today’s world, some of these balls are our sexual identification, our character, our purpose, our place, or our very value.
Examples of identity could be: I am a boy today, I am more valuable than my parents, I am abandoned and lost, I am angry, I am worthless, I am unlovely, I am a puppy (yes, this is a thing).
From these, examples of desire could be: I want to have sex with another girl. I want to disrespect and hurt my parents. I want to isolate and tell the world to f-off. I want to rage against others with my words, fists, abuse or bullets. I want to kill myself. I want to offer myself in a way where I get hurt because I deserve it. I want to leave a gift on your carpet.
Go Be You!
If you truly advocate this, how can you get upset when they live out what you just encouraged them to be and do?
I am proposing that amidst those many plastic balls is the one (or ones) that will bless and protect you.
Scripture says that God will give you the desires of your heart, but not all of them. He will give you the ones that are the fruit of your delighting in Him (Ps. 37:4). Then, as the ultimate good father that He is, He’ll give you the identity, or name, He always intended for you. This is the one that is good, holy, and uniquely yours — your way to offer your God-given gifting and glory to the world on and for His behalf.
Examples of His identity for someone could be: You are Israel, not Jacob. You are Paul, not Saul. You are the Sons of Thunder. You are my Perfect Beloved. You are Cornerstone. You are Messenger. You are my Beloved Daughter. You are Arthur.
Then, related desires could be: [Israel] I am one who strives with God, no longer a supplanter. [Paul] I am called as an apostle, one set apart for the gospel of God, no longer an accuser of the brethren. [Sons of Thunder] We are men of power for the kingdom. [Perfect Beloved] I am perfect in His eyes, no longer a disappointment in my own. [Cornerstone] I have strength to protect and love my family, no longer a 16-year-old living in a 40-year-old man’s body. [Messenger] I am gifted to bring the message of the gospel to others, no longer a player who can talk myself out of any accountability. [Beloved Daughter] I am a daughter of a king, no longer an abandoned child whose childhood was stolen. [Arthur] I am a king, able to lead and serve others well, no longer needing to hide.
Imagine if each of you found the specific balls that include your God-ordained identity. How would this change your understanding of who you are and what you desire to offer the world?
Let’s go back to our current: “Be you.”
Encouraging someone to grab any ball without holding to a criteria, or foundational truth, eliminates your ability to judge them if they do something harmful — you did tell them to “Be You.” Could you even be complicit in the evil they cause by not having had the courage to stand for truth? Might this be foolish?
And, many people who say “Be You” are advocating for freedoms never intended in scripture (yes, you can identity as a puppy) — the freedom to sin as one chooses. At the same time, some of these ‘be you-ers” label those who follow biblical truths as haters and evil. Is this tolerant, or intolerant?
Should this be a surprise? It says in Romans 1:35 that “although they know the ordinance of God, that those who practice such things are worthy of death, they not only do the same, but also give hearty approval to those who practice them.”
I Am Done exists to help you find and live out of your God-intended identity, or name, and desires. We help you find your plastic ball that has your God-intended name.
Saying “be you” can be good and wise if it means to be the “you” God always intended.