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My Questions Reveal My Priorities?

Can questions make you a better leader, parent, spouse, or person?  Andy Stanley thinks so.

He states that the questions you ask reveal your real priorities.  Ask yourself what the recipient of these questions really hears.

  • You say you value your child’s heart but only ask about her grades.
  • You say you value employee engagement but only ask about sales results.
  • You say you value restored lives but only ask about giving.
  • You say you value your wife’s peace but only ask if she’s gotten everything done.

What do your questions really reveal? Pause for a second, and come up with questions for each scenario above that would align with each stated value. We’ll pause as you develop your own.

[elevator music playing for 60 seconds]

Andy starts every staff meeting with this question, “What happened on Sunday.” His team knows it is an invitation to share stories of how people were impacted. This question places laser focus on Andy’s top priority.

What questions should you ask your spouse, your child, your friends, or your team to reveal what is important to you, and hence to them? Yes, step one is to identify your foundational priorities in each of these relationships before you can create your questions and develop your questioning skills.

NOTE: when crafting questions, consider their weight and wisdom. For example, if someone is living in a season of perpetual struggle, asking how they are doing could force them to remember how troubling things are.

Submit below questions you intend to ask and the reason you are asking them. You can also submit a question you could ask the person currently living in a season of struggle.

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A Warrior’s Victories in Real Life

Drives – All car rides are peaceful.

You get in your car and start feeling agitated to angry. You double-down with your predictable self-talk. “Yeah, my boss is an idiot!” or “She’s always like that!” or “I am such a fool!” There may be a nugget of truth, but it explodes far beyond its weight.

Realizing something had inflamed my anger, I intentionally took away the influence the enemy had by rebuking him. “In the name of Jesus I command you out of my car and out of my head. You have no place here. I choose goodness.” At times, it takes more persistence. This time it left. There was an immediate peacefulness in its absence. As a friend says, “It overplayed its hand.”

Disagreement — Christian married couples fight?

The ultimate arsonist shows up, igniting a small flicker into a raging inferno. “She will never respect me! He will always abandon me! I hate him or her.”  STOP!

Maybe this started over how to load the dishwasher, or maybe it began with his or her significant failure. Regardless, evict the flame thrower, and choose kindness, restoration and love. “Lord Jesus, in your name I command the one trying to crush our friendship out of this room. Lord, I invite you into this place right now. I choose to care for the heart of my spouse, and I ask forgiveness for my arrogance or my need to win. Jesus, help us right here and now. Come.”

Darkness, even with the lights on — Spaces can seem holy or dark?

Ever step into a room or a space and it just feels creepy? Did you know that demons go where they are permitted based upon something called authority (a topic for later)? What can you do?

First off, avoid evil spaces, unless you must or choose to enter. If I need to go in I may quietly pray as I enter and again as I leave.

Does it ever feel creepy or dark where you live, maybe after watching a sinister video? You do have authority there.

Some nights I woke up and sensed evil in my home. Starting in the basement, I prayed out everything in my house, room by room, eventually standing over my sleeping children and praying over them especially. When I finally got to our upstairs bedroom, the house seemed brightly illuminated, even though not a light was on.

On days when Lori and I were home alone and she also felt the darkness, she would ask that I blow my shofar, and it made a world of difference. That is for the next class.

Sound crazy? Check it with scripture, then try it. Be valiantly victorious over your accuser. Love to hear your stories below.

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It Hides on Purpose?

“My dear Wormwood,

. . . I wonder you should ask me whether it is essential to keep the patient in ignorance of your existence. That question, at least for the present phase of the struggle, has been answered for us by the High Command. Our policy, for the moment, is to conceal ourselves.”

The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis, Chapter 7

The author, Uncle Wormwood, is writing to his nephew Screwtape, a lower demon tasked to keep Screwtape’s “patient,” a human, from accepting their “Enemy,” Jesus Christ. Why advise Screwtape to hide instead of terrorizing his patient into submission? As Graham Cooke says, the enemy, the devil, has a limited budget, so it uses the costly direct stuff for more significant threats. For the rest of us? It is more than enough to wound us, whisper accusations, and keep us trapped in our own self-despair or self-hatred.

So, you ARE saying that demons and devils exist. This is 2017. Science rules them out.

If Satan were not real, why are we told in 1 Peter chapter 5 to:

“Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. But resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same experiences of suffering are being accomplished by your brethren who are in the world.”

If you accept scripture, then let’s discuss Satan’s simplest strategy.

Keep hidden, so the only ones left to blame are someone else, God or me.

If we fail to see who is prowling around, it wins, causing us to lose faith in God, to feel shame and guilt, or some combination of the two. It lights the fire, we suffer, we blame or shame, and it cackles.

Your first step? Realize you have an enemy. When situations arise, “be of sober spirit” [stay thoughtful], “resist him” [in the name of Christ I command you to leave], and stand “firm in your faith” [rest in the truths of the gospel].

Perceive that someone else is in the room, intentionally de-escalate the scenario, and replace anguish with hope and peace. This will give you a fighting chance. Your difficulty may be hard enough by itself. Why allow the devil to make it worse?

Get good at this, and you’ll bring light into dark places. It also totally messes with Screwtape and its friends. Check the next post for what this can look like in real life.