But dad, you gave it to me

In jail for years, when finally freed he visited with his child.

“Son, where did you get that iPod?”

“Dad, you gave it to me last Christmas.”

The Salvation Army’s Angel Tree Ministry allows children to receive gifts from their incarcerated parents. Just imagine, “Mom, who is this from?” “It’s from your dad.”

If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him! . . . Matt 7:1

Yesterday I selected gifts for a 12-year old girl, size medium, junior. She wanted a bible, books and a winter coat. It was not an exercise of buying stuff, it was the privilege of representing the love of her father to this currently fatherless child. These gifts were precious, infused with the possibility of hope, of being remembered, of love.

A woman at LifeWay invested her own struggles as a 12-year old to help me select just the right bible, books and journals that would affirm the heart of this girl. We inscribed her bible with her name and the words Beautiful & Beloved just below.

Then it was time to select a coat. It must wrap her in the arms of her father, it must bless her with comfort and warmth, and it must sparkle that she is beautiful.

It was more emotional than I would have ever expected. I drove across Akron so this little girl would receive these gifts from her father. Work stuff? It had to wait.

Choosing each item, I asked whether each was good enough to represent her father’s love, much like God’s better gifts. My hope – as she opens each gift she feels the love of her father, as she reads her bible that she will grow closer to the King, as she wears that coat she will thank and think of her father, and as she reads those books or writes in those journals she will capture thoughts and words that will direct her life towards wholeness and love.

As a man and as a father, what an honor to be able to fight FOR this family. That it will be restored upon his or her release, and that you can rise up and offer your strength, beauty, or compassion on behalf of someone this Christmas season.

Merry Christmas!

 

Daisy

Tenderness

That word itself deserves a moment of silence.


It is sad yet beautiful when things you never thought could teach you life lessons, do.

Her name was Daisy, and she walked alongside us through a very difficult season. We half-jokingly called her our therapy dog.

Our marriage was being tested — we learned how dreadful it was to wound the one you love. My wife and I would just hold each other, whispering that we liked each other. We learned that “like” can sometimes be more powerful than love?

Then one day, as I inwardly raged in self-disappointment, I lashed out at Daisy.  A beautiful black lab, she cowered and looked at me, asking, “Why are you treating me this way? I just want to love you.”

I had to choose: justify my rage, or invite wisdom and love.  I sat down and gently held her. In that moment, I chose tenderness.

I’d like to say something like “I just wept,” but that would be a lie. I did realize how hard my heart had been for too my years, so I decided to ask God to help me to be tender.

In future moments, when it would have been easy to be angry, I invoked a very complicated prayer,

“Father, please come into this moment. Thank you.”

That evolved into the much more complex,

“Please come. Please come. Please come.”

I wish I’d had that encounter with Daisy when I was 12. It would have saved so many others, especially my family.

Tenderness, kindness, gentleness, meekness. Think I’ll need the fullness of the Holy Spirit and the grace of our Lord to make the right decision in each moment.

Are you in?

PS. That photo is me with Daisy on her last day. We did the immensely hard thing as she was suffering from rampant cancer. Daisy, we love you. You taught us so much.