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As Long as I Behave “Good?”

To be a perfect Christian man or a perfect Christian woman, one must behave perfectly?

During Jesus time, the most religious Jewish leaders added hundreds of laws prescribing how good Jews must live. What did Jesus think of these epitomes of religious perfection? In Matthew 23 alone, He called or said to them the following:

  • Hypocrites
  • Woe unto you, ye blind guides
  • You fools
  • [you … have omitted… judgement, mercy, and faith
  • [you] strain out a gnat, and swallow a camel
  • [you are] full of extortion and excess
  • You are full of dead men’s bones, and all uncleanness… and hypocrisy and iniquity
  • You serpents, you generation of snakes… you kill and crucify… you scourge in your synagogues

Earlier, when asked to define the greatest commandment, Jesus replied:

“‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the great and foremost commandment. The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets.” (Matt 22:37-40)

Do you think that loving God and loving others is about our behavior?

Yes, . . . and no

Are we to extend acts to demonstrate our love? Absolutely. Can we “demonstrate” love to manipulate or gain favor? Can we execute “required” behaviors just like the religious leaders of Jesus’ day and not be genuine?

I serve my wife, . . . so she will sleep with me. Hey, I sacrificially served my wife, don’t I GET something for that?

I respect my husband, so he will not grouse when I spend outside our budget. Hey, I stroked his ego, he owes me.

Looking on, we observe serving and respect, but the motives have nothing to do with love.

The crux? My motives and my heart.

Can you see  now that it comes down to our hearts, to your heart? Can you behave properly and be far far from God and His purposes? To understand how to live and love as men and women, we must first agree that it IS all about our motives and our hearts. That is where we will begin.

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A “Real” Man? A “Real” Woman?

Search the web on what it means to be a “real” man or woman. You’ll get differing opinions, more questions than answers, or reasons to be gay.

So how do we figure this out? Based upon:

  • What society says?
  • What your mom or dad, or lack thereof said?
  • What you learned from awful experiences?
  • What science allegedly says?
  • What you were told in countless self-help or even religious books about how to become the perfect women or man?
  • What you heard at an agenda-laden sex-ed class?
  • What nihilism or hopelessness proposes?

Does it even make sense to ask these questions as parents allow children to identify as squirrels, or adults now identity as puppies? Would you want the answer if it existed?

Let’s start with the “truly scientific.”

What games did you play as a child? Do you think they might suggest themes about the heart of a boy or girl?

  • Did you detonate things or want to create relationships?
  • Did you make every stick into a weapon, or want to be pursued by a valiant prince?
  • Did you want to walk alongside someone in an epic story, or did you want to rescue the damsel?
  • Did you do tea in your twirling skirt, or did you take every chance to wrestle and get bloody?

Do you think these were taught by society?

  • How many boys, prevented from owning toy guns, still chewed their toast into the shape of a weapon?
  • How many Barbie’s were saved by Superman, or Thor, or Mr. Darcy, or — Yes, it is now cool to be saved by Wonder Woman, and as much as that affirms girls, do you think she just wants to be saved by Wonder Woman?
  • How many girls desire to drive through Paris in a convertible with their hair blowing in the wind?
  • Why do women invest so intentionally to reveal their beauty, physical and otherwise? Or, why do so many women desperately hide their beauty as if it is shameful?
  • Why do some men get caught in an endless loop of small adventures, whether the addicted video-gamer, the adulterer, or that fifty-year-old ski-bum who still hits on ski-babes his children’s age at the mountainside bars?
  • Why do we find patterns and themes across the world?

Is this all random, or are there real and immovable truths?

Maybe it’s nature or nurture, simply to what you ascribe, or it changes with every alleged evolutionary progression. But do these leave our hearts settled, or do we end up more confused and hopeless?

It says in Genesis 1:27 that “God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.”

Since God does not have a physical body, and we are made in His image, then we are not made to reflect his body but His characteristics; our identities are at the level of our heart and soul, not our bodies, although our bodies are designed to align with our hearts and purposes.

Second, it did not say that God made just generic people — he made a male and a female specifically, each with his or her own design, purpose, and characteristic that reflect God’s own heart.

So, the creation of each gender is at the level of the soul, and each gender uniquely reflects different aspects of God’s character.

Need time to think on this, or will you accept the word of God as your plumb line? The second Wednesday of each month I will post more about this topic, sharing what scripture says about the heart of each gender. This will NOT be about how to be perfect as each, or what each gender must do. For example, anyone can cook, clean, lead, doctor, parent, serve, and so much more.

This will be about what awakens the heart of each gender, what makes each come alive. It is meant to encourage and inspire, and it will never intentionally guilt or shame. I look forward to sharing on the second Wednesday of each month.