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A “Real” Man? A “Real” Woman?

Search the web on what it means to be a “real” man or woman. You’ll get differing opinions, more questions than answers, or reasons to be gay.

So how do we figure this out? Based upon:

  • What society says?
  • What your mom or dad, or lack thereof said?
  • What you learned from awful experiences?
  • What science allegedly says?
  • What you were told in countless self-help or even religious books about how to become the perfect women or man?
  • What you heard at an agenda-laden sex-ed class?
  • What nihilism or hopelessness proposes?

Does it even make sense to ask these questions as parents allow children to identify as squirrels, or adults now identity as puppies? Would you want the answer if it existed?

Let’s start with the “truly scientific.”

What games did you play as a child? Do you think they might suggest themes about the heart of a boy or girl?

  • Did you detonate things or want to create relationships?
  • Did you make every stick into a weapon, or want to be pursued by a valiant prince?
  • Did you want to walk alongside someone in an epic story, or did you want to rescue the damsel?
  • Did you do tea in your twirling skirt, or did you take every chance to wrestle and get bloody?

Do you think these were taught by society?

  • How many boys, prevented from owning toy guns, still chewed their toast into the shape of a weapon?
  • How many Barbie’s were saved by Superman, or Thor, or Mr. Darcy, or — Yes, it is now cool to be saved by Wonder Woman, and as much as that affirms girls, do you think she just wants to be saved by Wonder Woman?
  • How many girls desire to drive through Paris in a convertible with their hair blowing in the wind?
  • Why do women invest so intentionally to reveal their beauty, physical and otherwise? Or, why do so many women desperately hide their beauty as if it is shameful?
  • Why do some men get caught in an endless loop of small adventures, whether the addicted video-gamer, the adulterer, or that fifty-year-old ski-bum who still hits on ski-babes his children’s age at the mountainside bars?
  • Why do we find patterns and themes across the world?

Is this all random, or are there real and immovable truths?

Maybe it’s nature or nurture, simply to what you ascribe, or it changes with every alleged evolutionary progression. But do these leave our hearts settled, or do we end up more confused and hopeless?

It says in Genesis 1:27 that “God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.”

Since God does not have a physical body, and we are made in His image, then we are not made to reflect his body but His characteristics; our identities are at the level of our heart and soul, not our bodies, although our bodies are designed to align with our hearts and purposes.

Second, it did not say that God made just generic people — he made a male and a female specifically, each with his or her own design, purpose, and characteristic that reflect God’s own heart.

So, the creation of each gender is at the level of the soul, and each gender uniquely reflects different aspects of God’s character.

Need time to think on this, or will you accept the word of God as your plumb line? The second Wednesday of each month I will post more about this topic, sharing what scripture says about the heart of each gender. This will NOT be about how to be perfect as each, or what each gender must do. For example, anyone can cook, clean, lead, doctor, parent, serve, and so much more.

This will be about what awakens the heart of each gender, what makes each come alive. It is meant to encourage and inspire, and it will never intentionally guilt or shame. I look forward to sharing on the second Wednesday of each month.

 

 

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What have you been named? What would you WANT to be named?

You have a legal name, but what words shaped or “named” you?

Prickly, Depressed, Promiscuous, Passive, Cowardly, Unsatisfying, Stupid, Fat, Irrational, Too Rational, The Black Sheep, Unlovely, Dry, Boring, Excessive, Wasteful, A Failure Just Like Your Daddy, Too Dreamy, A Wimp, Too Dangerous, Abandoned, Lazy, Alone, Worthless . . .

Once “named,” we decide how to live out of these identities.

• We reject them and we prove them wrong, or
• We embrace them and live under their spells, or
• We forget them even though they’ve marked and marred our character.

In each case, instead of living authentically, we live in reaction to words designed to crush our genuine identity and purpose. You’ll then hear phrases like:

• I’ll prove that idiot wrong, or
• I really do deserve this suffering and pain, or
• I keep trying, but something in me self-destructs, and I don’t know why.

“You know, boys would like you more if you just lost ten pounds,”
or
“How can you be such an f-ing idiot?”

These accusations, even if said in jest, steal our God ordained design, our very identity, replacing both with lies that diminish or crush our value.

Do you doubt that your name, that your identity matters?

In Genesis 35:18, as Rachel died giving birth, she named her child Ben-oni that means “son-of-my-sadness.” Jacob knew the child could be damaged by being reminded every day that he was the fruit of his mother’s death, so he kindly changed his name to Benjamin, meaning “son-of-my-right-hand.” How much of a difference did that make?

Even more so, in Genesis 32, God Himself replaced a name, radically changing an individual’s and even a whole people’s identity and purpose. The given name was Jacob, meaning “supplanter” as this man was a conniving liar. God changed his name to Israel that means “contender,” “fighter,”  “prince,” “prevailer.” Can you see the impact and power of this new name, this new identity? Which one would you want?

Can God do this for you?

What would it mean if a name like “Unlovely” or “Weak & Unreliable” was replaced by “My Perfect Beloved” or “Valiant Warrior”? How might this change the trajectory of a life?

Do you think God still replaces words/names that have imprisoned us with names that give us a new identity, even freedom?

We at I Am Done not only believe it is so, we’ve seen it transform many lives. To learn more, consider attending one of our upcoming events. You can find them listed on our home page by clicking HERE.