Posted on

But it “Works”

Eve had to call for Adam after she ate — He was in the garage or playing video games, or so many men think.

Scripture says they were elbow-to-elbow.

Instead of standing between his wife and evil, Adam weaseled out. He chose Eve’s dangerous decision over God’s wisdom and love.

Adam abdicated his responsibility to obey [DISOBEDIENCE] and protect [PASSIVITY & COWARDICE]. Instead he chose Eve over God [IDOL WORSHIP].

Can anyone relate? I can.

Afterwards, as he and his wife hid as God came “a lookin.”

 . . . God called to the man, and said to him, “Where are you?” He said, “I heard the sound of You in the garden, and I was afraid [FEAR] because I was naked [SHAME]; so I hid [POSING] myself.” And He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?” The man said, “The woman whom You gave to be with me [BLAMING GOD], she gave me from the tree [BLAMING EVE], and I ate [ADMITTED ONLY AFTER BLAMING OTHERS].” Gen 3:9-12

In these simple acts, Adam corrupted his design. In doing so, he imprinted a pattern on all of our designs.

As you look through these verses, can you relate? Personally, this is beyond humbling as these “traits” have been part of my own story. Let’s start by focusing on just one.

“I was naked; so I hid”

Ever feel shame because you were exposed? What do you do? In keeping with our role-model Adam — we hide. Behind what? Behind that something that “works,” that allows us to keep face, or to get the validation we need. That “something” is called our pose, or in many cases, it’s our personality.

Ever met the guy who relied all too much on humor or sarcasm to prevent you from really getting to know him? What other poses “work?” Mr. Know-It-All, Mr. Hard Ass, Mr. Passive, Mr. Successful, Mr. Leader Guy, Mr. Nice Guy, Mr. Womanizer, Mr. Angry, Mr. . . .

You’re around a guy and something just doesn’t feel settled or grounded. You feel like he is almost “working the room” in his own way to stay in control and maybe to keep you far from his heart. By the way, going totally passive is a way to “stay in control,” because you prevent anyone from holding you accountable.

You sense that if the diplomas on his wall, the money in his account, the muscles on his arms, the women in his bed, the countless excuses he makes, or the jokester comebacks he always uses were all removed, he would be totally exposed. You would see his “nakedness,” to go back to Genesis 3.

Want to walk away from having to rely upon where you hide, your pose, or that part of your personality that “works” for you? Ask God to show you where you have been hiding, then accept His invitation out.

Want to learn more? Check out our website our come to one of our events.

Posted on

Golden Bats and Manhood Ratings

Men, if we are meant to engage in epic battles, to live in crucial adventures, and to offer rescue to our beauties, how can these go astray?

The song says that they looked for love in all the wrong places. One of our entanglements is when we look for our strength in all the wrong places.

O Lord, my strength and my stronghold, And my refuge in the day of distress, Jer. 16:19

How often do you ask the Lord for strength before the difficult conversation, the need to humble yourself, the complex business meeting, or the challenging task? How often do you go to the Lord for refuge ? Are these even categories you live within? What do you do instead? We can . . .

Rely on our “golden bats”

In the movie The Natural, the character Roy Hobbs is a naturally gifted baseball player who believes he needs his special “golden” bat to succeed. When it is finally broken he thinks he is ruined, only to realize he’d relied far too long on that bat after he got the crucial hit without his “crutch”. What do you rely upon outside of God for your strength? How would you feel if you could come through without having to rely upon your golden bat?

Expect our beauties to rate us as men

What does it feel like to be respected by your girlfriend or wife? In Ephesians 5:33 it says that “the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.” It is part of God’s design that by this act, men are inspired and feel supported. But can we relinquish our desire to battle, to live in adventure, and to rescue, if our wife does not respect us?

But we take it a step farther. We expect our beauties to be our rating.

“Honey, can you tell me if I am a man. Can you give me the strength that I need?”

How does this request sit in your stomach?

By giving our beauties our “report card,” we ask them to offer far beyond their identity as ezer knegdo’s, expecting them to take the place of God. This exhausts and frustrates them as they are waiting for us to offer our strength without their having to be the source of that strength. The latter is destructively circular.

So what can we do?

If we are honest, we know we’ve relied on things or people other than God to be our strength, stronghold, or refuge. Want to grow out of this? Give God permission to father you away from these reliances and into an ever-deeper relationship with Him. He’ll then become more and more your source of power.

Posted on

As Long as I Behave “Good?”

To be a perfect Christian man or a perfect Christian woman, one must behave perfectly?

During Jesus time, the most religious Jewish leaders added hundreds of laws prescribing how good Jews must live. What did Jesus think of these epitomes of religious perfection? In Matthew 23 alone, He called or said to them the following:

  • Hypocrites
  • Woe unto you, ye blind guides
  • You fools
  • [you … have omitted… judgement, mercy, and faith
  • [you] strain out a gnat, and swallow a camel
  • [you are] full of extortion and excess
  • You are full of dead men’s bones, and all uncleanness… and hypocrisy and iniquity
  • You serpents, you generation of snakes… you kill and crucify… you scourge in your synagogues

Earlier, when asked to define the greatest commandment, Jesus replied:

“‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the great and foremost commandment. The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets.” (Matt 22:37-40)

Do you think that loving God and loving others is about our behavior?

Yes, . . . and no

Are we to extend acts to demonstrate our love? Absolutely. Can we “demonstrate” love to manipulate or gain favor? Can we execute “required” behaviors just like the religious leaders of Jesus’ day and not be genuine?

I serve my wife, . . . so she will sleep with me. Hey, I sacrificially served my wife, don’t I GET something for that?

I respect my husband, so he will not grouse when I spend outside our budget. Hey, I stroked his ego, he owes me.

Looking on, we observe serving and respect, but the motives have nothing to do with love.

The crux? My motives and my heart.

Can you see  now that it comes down to our hearts, to your heart? Can you behave properly and be far far from God and His purposes? To understand how to live and love as men and women, we must first agree that it IS all about our motives and our hearts. That is where we will begin.